00 7/10/2008 1:03 PM
In the US Microsoft’s HD DVD drives can now be found for US$5 at Kmart! It almost makes us want to hop on the next QANTAS or United flight straight over to LA or San Fran. We then realised that doing so would cost us more than $2,000 so we decided against. If you happen to have one or picked one up during the bargain bin phase were they were going for $50, here’s an extensive list of what you can do with it.

1) Playing DVDs, since it works better than the drive in the 360.
2) Playing Transformers over and over and over in HD
3) Convince dumb friends its the new mini-xbox
4) Book-end
5) Play toy for the dog
6) Drink holder
7) Foot rest
8) Playing movies on that old X360 you have whose drive stopped working 2 days after the warranty expired
9) TV series marathon tool, so your X360 can hold 2 episode discs at once
10) Sold on Ebay in 10 years as a 'rare player'

11) Throwing weapon to disadvantage your friends in multiplayer games
12) Disc holder
13) Frisbee (not a particularly good one though)
14) Example product for an assignment on how NOT to launch a product
15) Portable DVD drive for your laptop that's older than your mum
16) Sell the chrome drive tray to someone who bought a core console
17) Riot tool: it breaks windows like bricks but is easier on your throwing arm
18) Somewhere to finally put that sticker that came with your Xbox
19) Sticky tape it to your cat and upload to lolcats with text “HD-DVD cat is discontinued”
20) Monitor stand

21) Sit it on top of your TV in order to look uber tech
22) The next time your friend asks to borrow your Wii put the player in a bag and give it to him, he will be home by the time he works it out
23) Buy 50 and use as dominos
24) Eat the entire drive and upload the video to Youtube for instant fame
25) Take it everywhere with you pretending it is your infant child
26) Play HD-DVDs (duh)
27) Use the universal remote that came with it to turn off your neighbours TV
28) Turn it upside down and watch your friends try to put a movie in
29) Use it to play music CDs while playing a game
30) Practice wrestling moves on it

31) Balance it on your dog's nose for amusement
32) Test the durability of the plastic case
33) Give it to someone you don't really like as a birthday present.... with no movies
34) Open the case when you get bored: Microsoft makes them like Chinese puzzles
35) Tell people its an ex-demo Blu-ray player and sell it for $300
36) Name it. I called mine Stan
37) See if it works under water
38) Use it as a bowling pin
39) Use the extra USB ports to run pretty lights and stuff
40) Trade it for smokes

41) Trace the outline of it and call it art... well it's more creative than most art
42) Plug it in to the PS3... worth a try
43) Rub it for bad luck, since the drive is full of it
44) Use it for reminiscing, telling your kids of the great format war
45) Paint it white.... 40 times
46) Combine it with LEGO to create a dreadnaught
47) Position it where someone will trip over it, then make them pay for a new one at the original RRP
48) Place it 10 metres away and throw pebbles at it, whoever hits the eject button first wins
49) Hide it under your shirt and run out of a store. When the guards catch you they can't exactly pin anything on you for 'stealing' a product they do not stock
50) Sing a song while pressing the eject button continuously for backing sound effects

51) See if it works in fire
52) Post it to Chris Stead, editor-in-chief of Gameplayer for shits and giggles
53) Post it again when he returns to sender
54) Post the dismantled remains to Ben Mansill, Associate Publisher of gadget zone, when it gets sent back in this condition from Chris Stead
55) Tie a troublesome tooth to disc tray and hit eject button to swiftly remove it
56) Write a letter to Microsoft claiming the reason the drive failed was because no one likes King Kong
57) Glue it to your sink and add it to a museum exhibit
58) Paint it like an Easter Egg and hide it in the yard for the kids to find (have 000 on speed dial for when they try to eat it)
59) Put a tack inside it to stop you room-mate from playing DVDs on your Xbox

60) See if it could derail a train (we strongly suggest you DON’T try this one)
61) Put a fire cracker in it to test its durability, again
62) Mail it to New Zealand...
so at least one family can move past VHS (assuming they have an Xbox, which they don’t, it’s New Zealand)
63) See if it can support the weight of your car
64) Put it on a skateboard and race it down a steep hill
65) Put it under a school and call in a bomb scare (again, we strongly recommend you DON’T try this)
66) Put The Veronicas or Britney's latest CD in the drive and then throw it out
67) Glue it to the wall... let's see your parents work that one out
68) Cupcake holder
69) Stand in front of people and press the eject button constantly until they run away

70) See if it will flush down the toilet: may require multiple tries
71) Practice sewing on the air holes
72) Use drive eject as push start for downhill toy car races
73) Point out to Sony fans that the 360 is still the best console despite this device
74) Tell it a bedtime story, then let it play you a movie in return
75) Nintendo DS holder
76) Your secret weapon for ispy in a year when everyone has forgotten what HD DVD is
77) Get it replaced under warranty... even if nothing is wrong
78) Put it on the poker table when placing bets
79) Place it in a skate park, sit back and watch the carnage

80) Get a permanent marker and use it as a notepad
81) Host your own tournament and use it as a prize
82) Take out the motor and use it for a fan
83) Actually wait for the 'checking for online updates' screen to finish checking
84) Place it on top of your door as a security system
85) Skip it across a lake
86) Use the USB ports for USB chargers without having the PC on
87) Confuse friends by ejecting both drives when they go to put a movie in
88) Watch blazing saddles in HD, this is a must for your life to be complete
89) Add it to fish tank to give fishy a new place to play (make sure it’s not plugged in)
90) Hide it in long grass and wait for someone to mow the lawn
91) Take it to work, put in IT technician’s in-tray with note “please install in server”
92) Use laser for amateur eye surgery on your sister’s old Barbie dolls
93) Challenge the drive to a race around the world
94) Freeze it, see if it still works frozen
95) Paint it black and wish it were a PS3
96) Stick it to the back of your car and call it a tight-arse spoiler
97) Paint it a whiter white and wish it were a Wii
98) Stick it in front of your Wii so when the WiiMote slips out of your hands it will hit the HD DVD drive rather than the Wii
99) Let it collect dust
100) All of the above... at once

Faccio talmente schifo che ho smesso perfino di farmi le seghe(™).

Papa Pio IX, quel metro cubo di letame, è la più nociva fra le creature perché egli più di nessun altro è l'ostacolo al progresso umano, alla fratellanza fra gli uomini e dei popoli. Se sorgesse una società del demonio, che combattesse despoti e preti, mi arruolerei nelle sue file.