THE BENEDICT EFFECT ON BEATRICE
Beatrice from the French section has decided to share her own
account of April 19 and its effect on her. My translation-
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I myself felt the need to lay down on paper what I felt last April 19th. And so I wrote down my thoughts just after the new Pope was elected, a text that I had intended to be for my eyes only, because, being reserved by nature, I had no intention of sharing it with anyone. But now, after having participated in this forum, I don’t feel as embarassed to think others will read it, because now I know I am not the only one to have felt this way…
Tuesday, 19 April 2005, 18:57 …
Like everyone else, I am in front of the TV.
I feel feverish, but for a rather trite reason – it is simply due to my impatience to find out, to see… a confused sensation of mounting tension which would soon resolve – not unlike what one feels at the movies just before the end of a thriller. Besides, I had hardly haunted the churches since I was a teenager, and I am still convinced that faith is a grace which was not granted to me.
Like everyone, too, I now knew the identity of the new Pope, and, as announced by the Chilean Cardinal Proto-deacon Medina, that he had chosen the name Benedict XVI. But the name of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger itself told me very little – I only knew that he was considered to be conservative (which pleases me), and that during the meditations he wrote for the Way of the Cross on Good Friday, he had made strong statements about the Church, (which he described as) a leaky boat that was taking in water in too many places…
Then, the red curtains of the Basilica’s Loggia of Benedictions opened as in a theater … And it was a revelation!
“HE” appeared, he opened his arms to us in a loving gesture, a father’s gesture, as if he wanted to embrace us all close to him, and he smiled…
He spoke in Italian, a gentle voice with a trace of fatigue, a voice that had a slight tremor, betraying apprehension and shyness in front of this immense crowd, and he seemed to trip over the words of a language he has mastered but is not his own, under the stress of a profound emotion that he just managed to control, and which instantaneously touched me
because he seemed so fragile and human.
Then he gave us his blessing – now his age did not count, he was transfigured by the serenity and light that he radiated. Nothing else seemed to exist but that radiance…
Afterwards, I felt light and joyful. I telephoned my mother to share with her that moment of happiness, I would even say that moment of grace…
For me, something truly special happened that day. As if a door had opened. Only much later, when reviewing the tapes of the event, did I realize that he was beautiful, with that gentle smiling face, its features fine and delicate as that of a child.
To whoever may object that this humanly banal infatuation has nothing spiritual about it, and that it seems closer to idolatry than to Revelation, I would reply that the Lord, if He exists (but how can one doubt now that he exists?), could well choose this human way to manifest himself. After all, the apostles probably started by loving Jesus as a person.
And his beauty - the face still so pure, and smooth as porcelain - which radiates goodness, can only be a gift of God.
So, after that intense moment, I have reflected on several things:
First, how can one not believe in predestination? He himself said once, in one of his books which I read later, “God has a plan for me.” Before he became Pope.
How can one not believe that God had a purpose when he caused this person to be born into a simple but exceptional family (one must read what he says of them in his memoirs) in rural Bavaria, a region so profoundly marked by Catholicism (even today!), and endowed him with truly exceptional gifts which he has used only to seek and accomplish good – when less than 20 kilometers away, 40 years earlier, along the banks of the same river, the Inn, that incarnation of evil called Adolf Hitler was born!
Benedict’s age is a challenge to a society which worships the appearance of youth like the Golden Calf, and sends a message of courage and hope (and yes, of pride) to those whom one calls “old”. Because his incredibly youthful face radiates a serene energy which confers him with iconic value.
After all, one cannot but be impressed by the trajectory followed by a little Bavarian boy from modest peasant stock, who rose to the highest position in the Catholic Church, having been already, as Prefect of the CDF, one of the 100 most influential persons in the world, according to a Time magazine survey.
His story must be gratifying to the enthusiasts of democracy and its so-called upward mobility, but it also proves the incredible capacity of the Church – with its pyramidal structure, its aristocratic system of electing the Pope, and its monarchical government – to promote the true merit of excellence…
To conclude, I would love to cite something I gathered the day after the Papal election on the street (to be more precise, at the supermarket checkout line). Looking at the giant photo of the new Pope on page 1 of the Figaro newspaper which I had just bought, a lady told me – after she had deplored, like most everybody else, his "advanced age" and noted my reticence regarding her views – “He carries saintliness on his face.” One could not have said it better. Vox populi…
Beatrice, 22 April 2005